Health Benefit of Bacon

"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson

"I unfortunately still crave Chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world." - Katy Perry

Bacon!

I posted about the joys of bacon a few posts ago.  Well, okay, it was way back last September, but it still smacks (and crackles and crisps) true. 

Too much bacon is, I suppose, a health risk.  At least, that's what I've heard that they say--they being the mysterious cabal of medically trained experts who are somehow elevated to the position requiring them to tell us what to eat to be healthy.  You know--used to be the four food groups, now it's a pyramid.  Who knows, maybe next year it'll be a circle of some type that makes us healthy.

Anyway, they say too much fat in our diets is a bad thing, and since bacon has a lot of good ole' smoked fat in it, too much bacon must be bad.

I do, however, have a hard time saying "too much bacon is bad" without laughing at the inherent silliness of the statement.

I mean, c'mon--this is bacon we're talking about.  It's pure happiness in one slice of culinary perfection.  Yesterday for breakfast I had a slice of bacon with two eggs (fried, over medium) and potato casserole, and it was terrific.  Last night we grilled hot dogs--bacon flavored hot dogs, in my case, since they were a new product in the store--wrapped in bacon.  This morning?  Omelets.  Omelets, I should add, stuffed with cheese and bacon.

Hey, now, I combined the cheese and bacon with green stuff (broccoli) and with carmelized onion, so it had to have been healthy, bacon or no.

Besides, too much of anything is bad for us.  I've always heard that it's important to drink a lot of water, but it wasn't that many years ago that a woman made national news when she perished in a water-drinking contest sponsored by a local radio station.  Her cause of death?  Drinking too much water.

See?  Water = bacon.

On the opposite side of the issue is the importance of happiness.  Not long ago I read an account of a German medical study (had to read an account of it, since I don't read German well) proving that men who look at well endowed women's breasts for at least ten minutes per day are happier than others, and as a result they live longer.

My wife didn't buy it.  She's perfectly well endowed for my happiness, of course, but the thought of me staring at her for ten minutes per day kinda weirded her out, wedding ring or no. 

That notwithstanding, it's clear that happiness is a good thing.  Bacon makes us happy.  Therefore, bacon is a good thing.

Right?

- TOSK