Monday, August 5, 2013

Being an Evil Overlord

It all began when I, in jest (I think), scratched out the first word in my "Dean of Education" sign and replaced it with a couple of more fitting (at the time) words, thus declaring myself the "Evil Overlord of Education."

Being an Evil Overlord of Education has its good points and its bad, I'd say.  On the one hand, though you undoubtedly have plenty of minions (who are quite intelligent and devoted to their job), none of them are willing to dress up in overalls and sing the "Banana" song.  That's probably because they're quite intelligent and devoted to their job, of course.

On the other hand, an Evil Overlord of Education doesn't really have to destroy much physical stuff, nor do you have to actually kill anybody, to qualify for the title on a fairly regular basis.  Just doing normal Dean stuff is enough, it seems.

"Mr. Blutarsky, zero... point... zero." comes to mind.

That, and there's a remarkable lack of interest among those who might take your job in actually doing so.  Anybody who's been around a Dean for long realizes how stressful the job can be despite the fancy paneled office and comfy chair (yeah, right) and charming assistants.  Nope.  Sorry, man, you're stuck with it.  Unlike most evil overlords out there, your minions do. Not. Want. Your. Job.  Not with a ten foot pole.  Wouldn't even touch it with your six-pointy beanie.  Sorry.

That said, then, there's not a lot of reason for an Academic Dean-slash-Evil Overlord to follow Peter Anspach's Evil Overlord List.  That said that said, though, it's still fun to do so.  Take, for example, number 27 (no, I'm not going to copy them here--he's got a strong enough copyright notice on his site that I'm just not gonna screw with it, which is why I linked it just now).  My life-ending terror-inducing weapon of choice is the pen, and yes, indeedy, I carry two on me at all times.

Number 33, of course, is very, very useful to keep in mind.  It helps keep HR off your back and stuff, you know.  Not that I would think of doing something so politically incorrect in the first place, but--well, Evil Overlords must keep up appearances (unless HR is on site at the time, anyway).

Number 60 is important, too.  Granted, Evil Overlords of Education don't get any five year old advisors, but HR can suffice for that as well.

Unfortunately, I mess up Number 20 all the time.  Oh, well.  Muah hah hah haaaaa!

Happy Monday!


PS--no, I don't hate HR people.  In fact, I've liked just about every HR person I've ever met, which is part of their insidious danger.  I respect HR people, and any of you aspiring Evil Overlords out there should learn to do so, too.  HR folks will always be the Palatine to your Vader.

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