Determination

"Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime"

You won't often hear me quote rap songs.  I only know the words to four or five of them, in fact...I've never made the time to listen to most of them, and the rest I did listen to but couldn't tell what the words were.  Most of the time I put that category of music in the bucket where I put romance novels.  Yes, it exists.  Yes, many others enjoy it.  No, thank you, I don't want it in my collection. 

I did, however, read a romance novel I enjoyed once.  Didn't have much choice; it was a long road trip and my mom only had three books in the car.  This was what would come to be known as historical romance, though in those days it was just another white-covered Harlequin.  But it was a pretty good story, and my eyes didn't fall out or anything from reading it.

Same with "Lose Yourself" above.  I heard it once on the way home from a long night of teaching the evening IT students.  The radio dial isn't as populated in Wasilla, Alaska, as it is in many cities, and that's my excuse and I'm stickin' to it.  But the song resonated.  It's Eminem's anthem of accomplishment, his magnum opus of magnificence.  His...ah, crap, I ran right out of clever word combinations.  Not enough coffee yet this morning....

So why am I sitting here at the keyboard banging out words before I have enough coffee in my system to really be counted as awake?  Well, that song says it...at least, for the most part.  There are differences between my situation and the one described in the song.  I've got a good job that I enjoy.  Yes, it has me working more hours than I should sometimes...well, nearly all the time...and sometimes students and their parents drive me a little crazy, but still I love my job.  That said, an opportunity is there.  A very small handful of new novelists make it big in the industry every year.  The book on bestsellers I've been quoting off and on confirms through several interviews how financially rewarding the making it big can be.  Sure, it's a very, very small handful...one, maybe two.  But it's there, it exists. 

If the opportunity is there, I'm going after it.  That's why I'm sitting at my laptop before anybody else in the house is awake, pounding out word after word, and giving up my weekends.  It's why I got home from a long day yesterday and wrote a thousand words even though I really just wanted to go to bed.  It's why I bared my soul to my friends by asking for opinions. 

Will I make it?  Only time will tell.  But I won't look back and say that I didn't give it my all.

Word count: 6,456